My daughter, who is only 6, wants to wear Halloween and other crazy clothing to school. I feel like Mommy Dearest when I tell her she can’t. Am I doing the wrong thing and should she express herself this way at this age?
Dear Mommy Dearest,
I know you are three mothers here. The one who wants to control her kid because of your values, the one who wants to be open-minded, and the one who doesn’t want her kid to hate her.
So…which mother should you be?
You have a conflict. Congratulations! If means you have an open mind.
Please stay open-minded a little longer as you explore what’s best. Because here’s what we I know yet: whether compromising your values and letting your kid dress this way is going to make you feel unsure of yourself. Or whether putting limits on her crazy dressing is going to make your daughter feel unsure of herself.
The only way to get the answer to this is to keep studying yourself and your kid. Push back on her and see what happens. If she’s OK with you changing what she wears, no problem. If she gets real mad, but then gets over it, still, no problem.
A bad reaction though would be a LOT of anger. Hitting you, not getting over it, becoming sullen for more than two or three hours. Then, you should consider helping her get what she wants, because she’s either a “leader” type of kid or the world’s next leading fashion designer. You don’t want to get in the way of that. Maybe then you can reach a compromise – yes to the tutu, no to the seashell bra?